So you’ve made contact with a very interesting Tumango member, but you’ve been putting off meeting face-to-face. Things are fine as they are, you tell yourself. I’ll feel too much pressure if we actually meet; we’ll have to decide to keep seeing each other or not. What if only one of us wants to? Or neither of us? It’s risky, and it jeopardizes our current connection.

Reality check! You’re both at Tumango for a reason. Maybe both of you will decide to see each other again, and maybe this is the match you’ve been waiting for. And after all, with Valentine’s Day this week, it’s a great opportunity to make your first date.

Do’s

1. Be on time. Don’t you dare worry about appearing too eager if you’re the first one there. And fashionably late only applies to parties. Concentrate on being polite, considerate and respectful during this first date.

2. Wear what you said you’d wear. Don’t fib so you can have the advantage of seeing your date without being seen; it’s cowardly and rude. If you’re a clotheshorse, don’t choose a “better” outfit at the last minute. All the outfits in the world won’t change who you are.

3. Ask questions. I’m not talking about an interrogation, but everyone is flattered when asked about their interests. Ask leading questions and listen attentively; there may be a test later.

4. Answer questions. Let your personality shine through with your responses, and remember that optimism is more attractive than pessimism. Stay positive

Don’ts

1. Don’t be selfish. A monologue is not a conversation. If you do all the talking, your date will be bored. You’ll bore your date if you don’t talk enough too. Your goal should be to create a fairly balanced exchange.

2. Don’t order messy foods. Some of us can’t help ourselves when faced with spaghetti sauce, melted butter or blueberry pie. A food stain on yourself may be “charming,” but splattering your date with food is a definite dating don’t.

3. Don’t be rude if you decide your date is a dud. Unless you want to rack up some bad dating karma, be honest but gentle. “I don’t think we’re as compatible offline as I thought,” should suffice. Don’t say you’ll call if you know you won’t.

4. Don’t play coy. If you’re interested, say so — even at the risk of rejection. No guts, no glory.